|Twinkle twinkle little star, how did I get home from the bar? where oh where did I leave my car? Please |
tell me that its not that far!
If Cinderella's slipper fit so perfect, why did it fall off in the first place?
We live in an age when our pizza gets to our homes faster than the police do.
I hear tampax and Bounty paper towels are joining together. The new Tampons will be called the Quicker Sticker Uppers!
I had to fill out an application and state which languages I'm fluent in... I guess profanity and sarcasm aren't 'real' languages.
The human tongue is only a few inches from the brain, but when you listen to some people talk, they seem miles apart.
A Mental Hospital is the PERFECT VACATION! You get a free ROOM, and free ENTERTAINMENT and free DRUGS! Who could ask for more?